Pondedering Thoughts About My Blog

I have a lot of posts in my "Drafts" and for some reason they never make it out of there. Some are long. Some are short. Some just need a photo added to it. Some have a photo, but need some detail added. Some chronicle our homeschool weeks or days. Some are about my flowers or thoughts that run through my head. One thing is the same throughout all of them. They feel incomplete. And I think God is trying to tell me something through this and I am just not getting it, yet. I know part of is that I need to limit my computer time and I have done that. I still need to do that some more, but I am getting much, much, much better. I do not feel that God is wanting me to stop blogging altogether. A lot has changed for me in the time that I started blogging. I began blogging for two reasons. The first was to reach other homeschoolers. The other was to make money. The first I have pursued. The latter I have not.... and do not care to anymore unless that just happens. When I look back it is amazing the changes that have happened in my life since my bloggy beginning. I had been homeschooling for mere weeks. I was homeschooling for totally different reasons than I am now (I just wanted to be with my kids and have quality time.... now it is a God thing. It is a conviction!). I was just homeschooling and not really loving it, but trying to. Now we are getting into a groove and I am starting to love it. Still we have struggles, but we are getting there. In the beginning I was all academically driven and trying to do the drudgery of school at home. Now my desire is to have our way of life become our way of school and our focus be on honoring God with it. I began this blog thinking that our school time could be totally seperate from our God time (prayer/church/etc.) and it was not necessary to teach about God as part of school. BUT when God puts you in a trial where do you turn?! Yes, when you have exhausted all other options (sadly) you will then, turn to God... ahem... yes, the place you should start with to begin with.... yes, God! And I have to say that for a while I was turning to blogging and my bloggy pals instead of turning to God for the answers I was searching for.

BUT GUESS WHAT?

GOD USED THAT!!!

... and He used all of you that I have come in contact with to help me sort through this time in my life. He used MY WEAKNESS to do a work in me.

I just had an epiphany moment for real!! ... and I am going to share that moment with you right now while it is fresh in my mind. Just last week, the day after Mother's Day, we had two ladies come to our church and speak for a women's event called Legacy of Love. These ladies are a mother and daughter team that formed a family ministry after a traumatic event in their lives only a few years ago. Knowing Jesus Ministries is the ministry that formed out of their trajedy. They were hit by a drunk driver on their way home from church one night... head on... all four were sent to seperate hospitals with severe injuries and the daughter, Jen Barrick (15 at the time), was not expected to live through the night. She did, but she had severe brain damage. Amazingly, she did not know who she was or that she even had a brother, but she woke up from a comma praising God and singing praise songs and qouting scripture. There were many things they shared with our group at the Legacy of Love event, but the thing that stuck in my mind was this:

God wants to use our weaknesses!

The following day I was asked how God spoke to me at the banquet and this is the reply I wrote back:

"He wants to use our "weaknesses". I fall into the trap of thinking that myweaknesses are a waste, instead of letting God use those weaknesses.

I confirmed that we need to raise up a better generation... seeking
Godliness as our way to measure their/our success. And we have to model that.
.... I got way more out of this experience than I can put into words..."

Okay, so I am sharing this at this moment because God is speaking it to me at this moment. What an amazing thing that is when that happens and our ears are open and we catch it happening!! That is new for me, also. It is more clear after I took a Bible Study class called "Discerning the Voice of God" that is taught using the DVDs and study guide by Priscilla Shirer. I highly recommend reading this book and doing the Bible Study even if you can NOT attend it somewhere and see the DVDs. It is wonderful! Anyway, I am recommending to all of you do the Bible Study ... and also order the DVD or CD that the Barrick family has to hear their story.

... But back to what I was saying before I started "chasing these [wonderful] rabbit trails".... I do not think that God is wanting me to stop blogging. God has used it too much to grow my Christian walk for it to be something He would have me eliminate completely. As with all things I have to learn self-control and I have to set limits. And when I spend 40 minutes typing up a post and hear His voice gently saying that I am spending too much time and that is not what He wants me to do with this blog I have to learn to listen ... and OBEY.... and leave those posts in the Drafts stage. And maybe He will guide me in finishing those posts when the time is right and it is not taking away from my life. For now.... they will sit their as long as they need to until I am clear with God that it is time to finish them. In the meantime I am once again going to try something new here. Something quick.. less time consuming.... I will do a bit of journaling here... It will be very random and just whatever is on my mind at the time. That might be some of our MFW studies or thoughts about my day, pictures, whatever.... unless God puts the brakes on that. We'll see. ALL OF THAT being said I think I will share some thoughts.....
WARNING: It's gonna get very RANDOM!


That beautiful baby at the top of that page is getting so big now. Just a few days ago she was mothering her FOUR babies and telling them, "No, no, no... ooooh baby... wait" and rocking them and cuddling them and disciplining them. That tiny little thing is turning into a big girl! And on that note... Sahara has been my largest baby at birth weighing in at 8 pounds 6 ounces, but now she is the tiniest of my children! It amazes me. Seriously, she had a well check-up this week adn my mouth dropped open when they weighed her. Only 23 pounds! Seriously! She is 21 months old! Two of my other children weighed that much by the time they were six months old and the other probably by nine months. It occurred to me that she could still meet the weight restrictions for an infant carrier car seat.... HELLO! She is my runt and I love every ounce of that spunky little thing. And on that note... she is spunky and tempermental and I am just saying that I think... no, I know that dynamite comes in small packages (from my own experience). Yes, I was the tiny one. I was always the smallest child in my class at school, but I thought I could take on the world. I was bossy and was usually the one in control amongst my playmates. I think Sahara is going to be that way... poor child. There is going to be a lot of personality molding with that one. For now cute takes her a long way, though. ;) I wish I had a picture of her face covered in black berries yesterday, too. That should be my new blog header! So cute in all her messiness.

I have had a long day, so off I go to bed for preparation for another busy day tomorrow.