Where Have I Been? Focusing! & Baby Update

Well, no where really... right here at home taking care of my little family. Sometimes I think we just need to focus on what we have in front of us. I have missed blogging, but I have been really busy and I have spent a lot of time focusing. I have been focusing on:
... my kids and staying on track with their school
... staying up to some sort of "caught up" on laundry
... being what things we "need" in our lives and eliminating the things we don't need
... on being still and quiet as I prepare for the arrival of this little one
... and many other things.

I don't always stay focused, but I have been making a better effort of it lately. ;) My husband is well known for being a bit ADHD and tends to drag me around like a crazy woman and run me ragged. Even for him I am simply saying, "No, go if you want, but you are going to have to go alone." I realize there may be some of you out there that would not agree with that, but I have to take care of me and sometimes (usually) no one is going to do that but me. And trust me I am not very good at taking care of me, but on some level I am taking a stand during this busy season of my life. If I am not asked with consideration how I feel and how it affects me when my husband is making his spur of the moment plans, I simply point that out and say, "No." If he is saying that he wants to go to visit his parents two hours away I point out that I have stuff to prepare for the kids school and they are obviously not going to learn if I am not teaching them. It's working. By the way, my parents live two hours away, so this applies to seeing them, also. I simply have to slow down and do what I can manage. If I can't manage it, I don't need to be doing it.

Now, just a little update on my pregnancy...
I am 18 weeks, feeling great, getting round, hearing a strong 150-160 range heartbeat, not feeling movement due to caesarean nerve damage, anxiously awaiting feeling movement probably around the 20th week, using a midwife and loving that they come to your house, not getting enough exercise :( , and trying to avoid thinking of labor for now ;) , feeling and seeing my varicose veins surface (bleeeeek), thanking God that varicose veins go away after birth, eating healthy.... I think that is about it.

I will be using a midwife and that is very different. I have had four caesareans and only gone into spontaneous labor one time. Because of my birth history I can not use our local hospital. They will not allow attempts to VBAC. There are a couple of hospitals over two hours away that will allow VBACs, but I have decided with the midwives recommendation to stay home. The midwife says that mothers just react better to birth at home and it is much easier on the mother. Homebirth is not something I am completely comfortable with, but that is the route we have chosen. And that is why I have trying to be quiet and still and focused. I know that I need calm all around me right now. In the event that the midwife sees a need to transfer to the hospital we will make that decision and be able to be there in under 30 minutes. If that happens I will have to have a caesarean and if that is necessary I will be okay with that. I feel I am in good hands and my midwife has a history of good judgment calls.

One last thing and I am getting back to the reality that is calling all around me... I LOVE this time of year!!! This is my favorite time of year and I love the fall weather. I hope you all are enjoying your fall and if you live somewhere as hot as Southeast Texas I hope you are getting the relief we are enjoying right now.