Biblical Courtship As Opposed To "Dating"

"Dating" is a dangerous game.  I know, because I did it.  It was what we were taught to do by society and being that I was not being raised in a Christian home it is what I was allowed to do.  And I just want to say that even Christian homes today are allowing "dating".  It is seen as "normal" and anything outside of "normal" would just be "weird" according to society.  Well, guess what?  We are called to be different and set apart from the world.  I started "dating" at the age of fifteen.  And mostly, I started because of the pressure to.  I really had no real interest.  And actually I had my first boyfriend at the age of thirteen because I thought I was "supposed to".   I had absolutely no concern for a boyfriend and when he tried to hold my hand at school that was the end of that relationship.  It is a pretty funny story to share sometimes, but what it really says is that I was too young to be thinking of such things. 

The problem with dating is that it is not even legal to marry for a whole three years after that at the age of eighteen.  And, of course, most parents do not want their child to marry straight out of highschool at the age of eighteen or such.  So, what does that mean?  Do you seriously think that your child is going to meet someone at fifteen that they will marry and spend the rest of their life with?  And if they don't marry that person don't you have to know that there are going to be problems from this arrangement.  They are going to give away little parts of their heart to someone that will later be a stranger to them.  Oh but the beauty of it if they were to just save all those little parts of their heart for the one that God has prepared for them. 

I tell my own children now that they are too young to think about "dating" until they are ready to start thinking about marriage. Yes, that is what I said... MARRIAGE. Isn't that the point of "dating" to begin with. Everyone wants to find that ONE TRUE LOVE and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. You are not going to have a ONE true love if you have dated TWENTY people! Without even realizing it you are going to have given away little parts of your heart to those twenty. That's twenty little parts!!! 

A few days ago the following was posted on the Biblical Courtship facebook page and I just wanted to share this.  Men and women alike should heed this advice:

SINGLE MEN WHO DESIRE TO BE MARRIED, HAVE THE DIVINE ASSIGNMENT OF FINDING A WIFE.
... Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”

God called you to be spiritual leaders, to be protectors, to be an example of Christ's love for the church.

(1) Maximize your time with God. Read and study the word of God. Serve in your church or ministry.

(2) Do not court women with whom you are unequally yoked:
      (A) NON-BELIEVERS
      (B) BELIEVERS WHO HAVE DIFFERENT THEOLOGICAL BELIEFS THAN YOURS.
Only court one woman at a time. Do not ignore women who God puts in front of you- women you meet at your church, ministry team etc..

(3) Examine a woman's character- charm is deceitful, beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears God is to be praised. Does she love the Lord, her God with all her heart, soul and mind? Is she wise? Is she unselfish? Is she kind? Would you feel proud to introduce her to others? Do you feel honored to be with her? Are you becoming a better man by knowing her? Are you growing in your relationship with God, because of her example?

(4) Do not allow yourself to be rushed into turning the relationship into romance. Build a strong friendship with her first. Guard your heart, and then wait to hear from the Lord and ALLOW THE HOLY SPIRIT TO GUIDE YOU ABOUT IF, HOW AND WHEN to proceed further.

(4) Never place a woman in a position of dishonor. Respect a woman's body as a temple for the holy spirit. Recognize that when you are with her, whether in person, on the phone, on the internet or via text--Jesus is there with you the two of you, and you should not do or say anything that would be inappropriate in his eyes.

(5) Do not allow others to speak negatively about her, in front of you.

(6) If a woman spends more time with you, than she spends on her relationship with God, she is idolizing you, so encourage her to focus more on her relationship with the Lord.

(7) Pray with her and pray for her. Invite her to visit your church, and also visit her church. Teach her the word and help her to grow spiritually.

(8) If you plan to take her out, invite another godly couple to go with you.

(9) Avoid spending time alone with her, especially at your place or at her place.

(10) Consider this-Are you two really compatible? Does she expect that when she gets married, her husband will buy her a 12 bedroom house?-While you just want to live in a small country house on a farm? If you have been called to pastor a church, will she be supportive of that?

(11) Consider this- If you had daughters, would you want them to be like her? If you had sons, would them to marry a woman like her?

(12) Do you balance each other out? Are your weaknesses her strengths? Are her weaknesses your strengths?