"Enjoy the LITTLE THINGS in life for one day you will look back and realize they were the big things."


What blog is about Intro

Come on in and sit awhile while I talk about the "Little Things" in life. I will share my journey of everyday life.... homeschooling, raising my children, homesteading, gardening, health and wellness, and real life.

Saturday, January 30, 2016

Life is Like a Dance

My oldest daughter says I should blog, again.  I really did not mean to stop but life is busy and things happen.  Not all things are good, so not all things inspire us to keep writing.  I guess in the midst of some rough times I just really did not feel like "talking".  It's time to talk, I suppose.  I know at one point I shared about my third miscarriage (this month is the two year anniversary of that miscarriage).  I started blogging again some time after that and after we had made the decision to move.  I shared some of the beginnings of our new life on our our SIX acres (so, I really need to update my blog cover page).  It was shortly after that I had my fourth miscarriage.  I really closed up in many ways... the blog was one of those.  That has been well over a year now.  I can hardly believe the time has passed.  In many ways I have healed emotionally but in many ways I am very broken.  It's like a dance of two steps forward, one step back.  I have realized that each miscarriage in my life has escalated panic attacks for me.  I can wake up like today thinking I am going to do big things... and then, the sense that "I can't" creeps in and I sit frozen in a panic attack.  I guess I no longer feel "capable".  I used to feel like I could do anything I set my mind to.  Now, I just don't feel like I can.  I have never really felt that way so I don't know how to fix it.  It is a day to day walk for me.  In many ways I have learned to move forward, but again it is like that dance... two steps forward and one back.  I have come so far but I have so far to go. 

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