I wish I had known what I know now about babies... what a blessing they are, I mean. My mother always devoted herself to her two kids, but never ceased to tell us how awful it was to be a mother. I did not have my first until I was 28! I was soooo amazed at how great it was and was filled with regret for choosing to prevent such a blessing for TEN years. The first moments I held Savannah (9) I said, "I could do this four or five times!" I think I shocked even myself when I said that and little did I know then that I would actually do that very thing and do it because I WANTED to. What an amazing way God can change us. Even after that I still used to say I wish I could have started having my babies in my mid-twenties.... even that has changed in the last year. Now I wish I had started ASAP and done it God's way! I think of the "blessings" I have robbed myself of... and the on-the-job-training that I could have gotten at a younger more naive, energetic age. And, by the way, I still think of myself as young... and secretly nineteen (37), but oh how my body has started telling a different story in the last three years.... eeeeekkkk !! I won't go into all that, but I will tell you it is real and not in my head and it is a great source of frustration to me. If you know anything about me you have to know I think I can do it all.... with a few exceptions. ;) So, I don't admit defeat lightly and it makes me down-right grumpy to fail at anything. I am one of those people that thinks pregnancy is fabulous and I love to be pregnant... except, it's gotten rougher by the sixth one crammed into an eight year time frame (remember I have had two losses).... Even though it is harder now I still ponder more... they are so stinkin' sweet! I love this saying:
"The first time I held my baby I understood why people
feel the need to keep having them."
I certainly changed the instant I had my firstborn and I am not saying I am ready for another, but I don't think I would ever be upset if another little blessing was sent our way.
Shannon, You are so right about babies being so sweet! And you are so sweet! You were meant to be a mother for such a time as this! The day you held your daughter for the first time was the very day the Lord intended! He works ALL things together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purposes!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful mom! And you children are so blessed to have you!
I second Tara on this!!! I have a friend who was unable to have children for many years and then had invitro and then had two more on her own, She wonders if she was tampering with Gods plan, "was she ready?' God knows when we are ready and his timing is just right! It looks like you, me and Tara are all in the same boat about adding a new one to our family this year. May God have his way.... as we stand out of the way!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tara and Becky about All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. It is all in his timing. When my husband and I got married, I did nothing to prevent having children, after trying for a year, had some testing done and eventually went through infertility. We were on our last treatment, before we would have to stop, when I became pregnant with Makaela (10). It was all in the Lords, timing. Since then I have had to come to terms with the fact that would be my only pregnancy. The Lord must have other plans for our family. Will be praying for you and your family this year in what the Lord may have in store for you all.
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