Q: Do I use birth control?
A: Yes, I do... natural birth control. By that I mean I am very aware of my ovulation time and menstrual cycle. All of my pregnancies.... yes, all SEVEN of them... have been either planned or left to chance knowing that it would be possible to get pregnant.
Q: Seven pregnancies? But you only have four children...
A: Savannah in 2000, miscarriage in the 6th week, Sierra in 2004, fetal demise at the 20th week due to a previous fall, Caden in 2006, Sahara in 2008
Q: Have I ever used synthetic birth control of any type?
A: Yes, for almost ten years. I got on the pill when I was engaged at the age of 18 and I thought it was the best thing ever. I went from having extreme cramps during my period to a very little pain and I thought I had truly found heaven. I never got off of it after that even when it was not necessary to have a birth control method. I stayed on it for the fringe benefits of not hurting so badly during menstruation. I stayed on it until I was 27 and my husband and I decided that we were ready to try our chances at being parents.
Q: When did I realize how bad it was for my body?
A: When it took NINE months to get out of my system (or mostly out... who knows what affect it still has on my body even now?!). Yes, I said nine months and what I mean by that is that I was always a 28 day (4 week) cycle kind of girl. After quitting the pill my cycle was like 8 weeks and over the next nine months slowly got back down to a 4 week cycle and that was the month I got pregnant. I was very aware that there is no way that had been good for my body. While I sat back and saw people all around me getting pregnant easily I had to wait for the pill to get out of my system.
Q: Do I ever wonder if my first miscarriage was a result of the affects of the pill?
A: I do wonder. And I suspect that it could have had some affect. In the case of my miscarriage the egg did not implant high up in the uterus like it needs to. Rather it implanted low down at the edge of my cervix. Who knows why? Only God. I will never know, but one thing I did know is that I did not want to ever use the pill again, just in case it had been partially or fully the reason. It was then that God really started to change my heart about who should be controlling how many children I have. It is not me, but God.
Q: Do I think it is "wrong" to use birth control, such as, the pill, IUDs, the patch, implants, etc.?
A: I think for me it is, because God has given ME a conviction about it.
Q: Do I think it is "wrong" to use natural methods of birth control?
A: No, because I think God gives us these "signs" in our bodies that are not wrong to follow naturally. If we are overwhelmed with what our life is, I think that we should use wisdom regarding adding more to our lives. Or in some circumstances, like mine, I was very cautious about getting pregnant again after four c-sections. For a while I just avoided "activity" when I knew I was ovulating.
Q: Is it harder to avoid "activity" during ovulation? (And this may be too much info for some of you, but I am addressing it because in private conversations with other ladies it comes up and most are ashamed to talk about it.)
A: I think God gives all of us a natural "animal instinct" and I find that it is harder to avoid "activity" during ovulation. Much like animals in the wild I think men and women are drawn to each other during ovulation and it is much harder to resist. I think it is just part of God's design that we "be fruitful and multiply".
Q: Do I ever wonder what blessings I have missed out on because of my choice to use the pill early on?
A: Yes, when I look at my beautiful children I think about how there could be even more of them. I think about it, but it is too late to spend my time regretting it. My husband and I agree that we wish we had started sooner with having children. I think about my older daughter that does not like being the oldest. She wishes for an older sibling all the time and she does seem to be "not quite right" as an oldest child and that makes me wonder if maybe she wasn't supposed to be the oldest. I wonder if one (or some) of those times that I was ovulating if an egg that was supposed to be fertilized was hindered from it by the pill and flushed straight out of my body without fulfilling it's intended purpose in life.
Q: Do I believe synthetic birth control can cause abortion to a fertilized egg (AKA baby)?
A: Yes, I do and I think it can happen and you never even realize it. If you have ever had a very heavy period or one that lasts longer than usual it is more likely than you may realize that the egg was in fact fertilized (became a baby) for a brief time and was aborted by birth control and flushed out of the body. It is a sad fact that few people realize when they choose synthetic birth control methods. I never knew it was a possibility, but no one tells you about that part. So, if you are pro-life and do not believe in abortion you might want to start rethinking synthetic birth control.
Q: What will I do in the future?
A: I wish I knew. I do not feel it is safe to continue having c-sections. I am stepping out on faith and using a midwife for this birth, but if the end result is another c-section I might have some important decisions to make and that may include sterilization for one of us. It will be a sad choice for me, if it comes to that. I am saying it now and CLAIMING IT... God is going to honor the choices I am making to attempt VBAC and I think it will be successful and I will not have to make any drastic decisions regarding sterilization. And that is why I am writing this post on birth control... it is well on my mind right now and I have a huge internal struggle to sort out. It is for all of you out there, as well, that might be going through a similar struggle or just do not realize some of the things that you might want to know.
I could go on and on.... if you have a question, please feel free to ask me. In the meantime I encourage you to educate yourself more and not to simply trust others (friends, doctors, or even me). This is not a topic that you can afford to make a mistake on. And all of us are going to have to answer to God one day for our choices. I recommend you pray about it. And remember God forgives us for our past choices if we just ask. Follow the convictions God gives YOU.
Note: Absolutely no negative comments will be allowed or responded to, so don't bother. Keep it friendly or keep it to yourself. My blog, my right to express my view and that is not an invitation to for opposing views. ;) Let's keep it friendly and God honoring on here, please.