A: Yes, I do... natural birth control. By that I mean I am very aware of my ovulation time and menstrual cycle. All of my pregnancies.... yes, all SEVEN of them... have been either planned or left to chance knowing that it would be possible to get pregnant.
Q: Seven pregnancies? But you only have four children...
A: Savannah in 2000, miscarriage in the 6th week, Sierra in 2004, fetal demise at the 20th week due to a previous fall, Caden in 2006, Sahara in 2008
Q: Have I ever used synthetic birth control of any type?
A: Yes, for almost ten years. I got on the pill when I was engaged at the age of 18 and I thought it was the best thing ever. I went from having extreme cramps during my period to a very little pain and I thought I had truly found heaven. I never got off of it after that even when it was not necessary to have a birth control method. I stayed on it for the fringe benefits of not hurting so badly during menstruation. I stayed on it until I was 27 and my husband and I decided that we were ready to try our chances at being parents.
Q: When did I realize how bad it was for my body?
A: When it took NINE months to get out of my system (or mostly out... who knows what affect it still has on my body even now?!). Yes, I said nine months and what I mean by that is that I was always a 28 day (4 week) cycle kind of girl. After quitting the pill my cycle was like 8 weeks and over the next nine months slowly got back down to a 4 week cycle and that was the month I got pregnant. I was very aware that there is no way that had been good for my body. While I sat back and saw people all around me getting pregnant easily I had to wait for the pill to get out of my system.
Q: Do I ever wonder if my first miscarriage was a result of the affects of the pill?
A: I do wonder. And I suspect that it could have had some affect. In the case of my miscarriage the egg did not implant high up in the uterus like it needs to. Rather it implanted low down at the edge of my cervix. Who knows why? Only God. I will never know, but one thing I did know is that I did not want to ever use the pill again, just in case it had been partially or fully the reason. It was then that God really started to change my heart about who should be controlling how many children I have. It is not me, but God.
Q: Do I think it is "wrong" to use birth control, such as, the pill, IUDs, the patch, implants, etc.?
A: I think for me it is, because God has given ME a conviction about it.
Q: Do I think it is "wrong" to use natural methods of birth control?
A: No, because I think God gives us these "signs" in our bodies that are not wrong to follow naturally. If we are overwhelmed with what our life is, I think that we should use wisdom regarding adding more to our lives. Or in some circumstances, like mine, I was very cautious about getting pregnant again after four c-sections. For a while I just avoided "activity" when I knew I was ovulating.
Q: Is it harder to avoid "activity" during ovulation? (And this may be too much info for some of you, but I am addressing it because in private conversations with other ladies it comes up and most are ashamed to talk about it.)
A: I think God gives all of us a natural "animal instinct" and I find that it is harder to avoid "activity" during ovulation. Much like animals in the wild I think men and women are drawn to each other during ovulation and it is much harder to resist. I think it is just part of God's design that we "be fruitful and multiply".
Q: Do I ever wonder what blessings I have missed out on because of my choice to use the pill early on?
A: Yes, when I look at my beautiful children I think about how there could be even more of them. I think about it, but it is too late to spend my time regretting it. My husband and I agree that we wish we had started sooner with having children. I think about my older daughter that does not like being the oldest. She wishes for an older sibling all the time and she does seem to be "not quite right" as an oldest child and that makes me wonder if maybe she wasn't supposed to be the oldest. I wonder if one (or some) of those times that I was ovulating if an egg that was supposed to be fertilized was hindered from it by the pill and flushed straight out of my body without fulfilling it's intended purpose in life.
Q: Do I believe synthetic birth control can cause abortion to a fertilized egg (AKA baby)?
A: Yes, I do and I think it can happen and you never even realize it. If you have ever had a very heavy period or one that lasts longer than usual it is more likely than you may realize that the egg was in fact fertilized (became a baby) for a brief time and was aborted by birth control and flushed out of the body. It is a sad fact that few people realize when they choose synthetic birth control methods. I never knew it was a possibility, but no one tells you about that part. So, if you are pro-life and do not believe in abortion you might want to start rethinking synthetic birth control.
Q: What will I do in the future?
A: I wish I knew. I do not feel it is safe to continue having c-sections. I am stepping out on faith and using a midwife for this birth, but if the end result is another c-section I might have some important decisions to make and that may include sterilization for one of us. It will be a sad choice for me, if it comes to that. I am saying it now and CLAIMING IT... God is going to honor the choices I am making to attempt VBAC and I think it will be successful and I will not have to make any drastic decisions regarding sterilization. And that is why I am writing this post on birth control... it is well on my mind right now and I have a huge internal struggle to sort out. It is for all of you out there, as well, that might be going through a similar struggle or just do not realize some of the things that you might want to know.
I could go on and on.... if you have a question, please feel free to ask me. In the meantime I encourage you to educate yourself more and not to simply trust others (friends, doctors, or even me). This is not a topic that you can afford to make a mistake on. And all of us are going to have to answer to God one day for our choices. I recommend you pray about it. And remember God forgives us for our past choices if we just ask. Follow the convictions God gives YOU.
Note: Absolutely no negative comments will be allowed or responded to, so don't bother. Keep it friendly or keep it to yourself. My blog, my right to express my view and that is not an invitation to for opposing views. ;) Let's keep it friendly and God honoring on here, please.
I'm actually in the same boat contemplating these things. I was raised in a pro- birth control family and due to health problems my mom got her tubes tied when she had her c-section with her third baby.
ReplyDeleteI too got on the pill when I got engaged. We decided not to have kids while he was in the US Navy. I couldn't bear to raise them alone while he was on deployments, or worse have to give birth alone, and have his child be 6 months old before he/she ever met their own father. The pill made me sick all the time, headaches, and gained 100 pounds so I wound up getting off it after a year or two and using other things. He got out in Sept. 2005 and my cycles were seriously screwed up courtesy of the pill. So when I got pregnant 3 months later while using 2 kinds of prevention methods, I had no idea at first. My sister told me I'd been nauseous for too long for it to be the flu so I took a preg test to prove her wrong... My daughter was born 7.5 months later. When we got married we agreed on 4 kids. When our daughter came, hubby suddenly didn't want anymore. He was overwhelmed with the love and weight of responsibility for just one child. In my heart I knew I would never feel "done" at one! I became pregnant a year later and miscarried. I was devastated. I was so depressed that I didn't realize how much I was bleeding and so I never told hubby. It's a miracle I did not die because I was bleeding an insane amount. I would take an hour nap and wake up soaked in red knees to bellybutton. For a whole week I bled this heavy and hubby never knew until years later. This even though was the thing that made hubby realize he wanted another baby. We conceived my son a month after we began officially trying. When he was a year old I began to be bombarded with quiverfull stuff. Everywhere I looked, everything I read. I thought for a while it was just the baby fever that was setting iut making me want another. My hubby said NO. 2 was enough for him. I kept reading. Tried not to push hubby. Very long story short he's still not 100% convinced, and I am still having trouble letting go totally, but hubby agreed to try for 4 like we originally wanted, and I can tell with each child we have that God is working on him more and more. The other day he asked if he should go to the store and get a box of you know. I told him that I was at peace in my heart whatever happened so a trip to the store was between him and God. He never went. I hope that God will allow me a little more time with my nurseling before getting preggo again. I am still enjoying having a newborn and I get so intensely sick when pregnant that I hope I won't become pregnant for a while so I have more time to enjoy without the distraction of preg symptoms. But I do want at least one more, and after God working on me for a year and a half, and even before this, I feel that it's HIS job to open and close my womb and not mine. Just waiting to come to a peace about all the little details, and waiting for hubby to come to the same conclusion.
Shannon-I've commented before since I have a similar history of c-sections. I hold similar views on birth control, but I want to gently make a point about natural birth v c-sections. Gently here...my last c-section caused me to trust more fully in the Lord than the natural birth I desired would have. I was completely and utterly at the mercy of the One who has numbered the hairs on my head, and I knew it. I could have easily trusted in the surgeon, a midwife, natural birth methods, and all the things that go along with homebirthing. A c-section was what the Lord used to glorify His name. It could have very easily happened the other way around through a VBA4C--who can know His ways? I guess what I am saying is be careful. Put ALL of your trust in the Lord, not just some of it. However the Lord chooses for you to give birth, He is in control. If you say He is in control, then don't add the "unless I have another c-section" qualifier. Blessings to you!
ReplyDeleteI am not saying that another c-section could not bring honor to God... just saying that I can not handle more c-sections... or I don't think I can.... emotionally. I guess some people are just better than other people... my faith is not always perfect and the limitations you think I am putting on God or really limitations that I am putting on myself. You don't have to understand "Anonymous". I am not perfect. I don't want to continue having surgery. I have stated on my blog that I want the negative commentors to do away... you may be trying to be "gentle", but if you have to state that then you are crossing a line that you know you are crossing. I guess my next step will have to be to block anyone that is Anonymous. I don't really want to do that because some of my Anonymous commnetors have not crossed the lines. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Shannon. I truly did not mean to sound critical or in any way make you feel bad. It is so hard to convey tone over the internet. I only wanted to encourage you to rest in Him, since often He works in ways we don't expect. I'm sorry if it came across as "preachy". I am only speaking as someone who stood in your place a year ago and experienced many of the emotions and fears that you are expressing on your blog. The Lord taught me so much during that time, and I am almost certain that a few months after this birth you will post about what the Lord taught you. It is natural that we want to share with others what the Lord did during a trial, but I understand now that this perspective is probably not something you want to hear right now. Again, I truly am sorry and ask your forgiveness for any displeasure it caused you. It was not my intent. I have commented before but I don't often read all the comments. Perhaps a simpler encouragement would have been better in light of all the negative comments you seem to have received? On another note, I received an Above Rubies magazine in the mail yesterday and a woman had 9 c-sections! I also came across the blog when I was researching vbac of another woman who had 9 c-sections. Acckk!!! Can you imagine? Anyways to say what I should have said the first time-- I hope you have a safe birth and happy/healthy baby! God Bless! ps...I'm only anonymous because I don't have a blog! I'm not sure how to comment under any other profile.
ReplyDeleteMy apologies back to you. I have been a bit on the defensive. I do agree with what you had to say it is just that I have some really ugly comments on here lately that I have had to delete.... going so far as to say that I need to make mine and my baby's funeral arrangements and such things. Thanks for visiting! I actually had someone share that Above Rubies article with me a couple of days ago and it was just what I needed. I know that I may not end up with that outcome, but is right on with where I am at in my life right now. I am reading all the birth info I can to preparing to be able to recongnize all the warning signs of danger and we are going to relocate for the birth with a drive under 4 minutes to the hospital. We are really trying to be very cautious and realistic.
ReplyDeleteShannon,
ReplyDeleteI am the husband of an incredible woman, who has endured five c-sections and 2 children lost in gestation. She has borne me more blessings than I could ask for without being prideful or selfish. After researching the complications with scarring caused by multiple c-sections, and at the encouragement of her OB (a dear brother in Christ who loves children and families who feel the same), I made the decision to protect my wife and discontinue pursuing pregnancy as a means to adding to our family (Adoption is a viable option). Christine would love to have more and laments the aging process of our little fella (2 yrs old) as she realizes he may be her last, but I cherish my wife and don't consider risking her life to be mandated by scripture nor do I find it required to have "strong" faith. Our quiver is full at five! Faith is belief in God doing what He says He will do. Nowhere in scripture will you find that God places a number on how many children a woman must have to be considered faithful. Be encouraged and enjoy your children to the fullest, they are God's gift to you and your husband.